Keeping the Peace

Wow, that’s not such a great day. I am sure you hope that this is not typical for Joan or if it is, I am sure you are glad you do not work with her! But the truth is this might be typical for Joan and many others like her and if you do not work with her, you might actually BE her. You see Joan spends a great deal of her time multitasking. She feels a great deal of pressure to complete all kinds of tasks simultaneously. The end result is not always as productive or beneficial as you may think.

On this particular day Joan had participated in a virtual meeting during the middle of the day. Although Joan was required to attend this meeting, she was not the facilitator and so she participated in the meeting while doing other things. Just before the meeting began Joan ran out and bought herself a treat, fried zucchini and a chocolate shake. She decided she would only eat half of zucchini and drink half of the shake.

While the meeting progressed, Joan sipped on the shake and reached into the bag of fried zucchini to munch. (She kept herself muted unless she needed to speak, so nobody heard her chewing and slurping.) She realized that she owed her business analyst the draft scope document and she also needed to forward a contract on to her sponsor. As she was attaching the scope document to the email to her business analyst, she heard the meeting facilitator call her name.

Joan unmuted herself and responded, “Yes?” The meeting facilitator said, “Joan, are you saying yes this is OK with you?” Not wanting to admit that she had not been paying attention Joan said, “Yes.” She decided she could figure out what she had agreed to later. What Joan had agreed to was to participate in a presentation next week. This could have worked out well, except that Joan was going to be on vacation. After the exchange with the meeting facilitator, Joan once again put herself on mute, reached for more fried zucchini and attached the contract to the email to her business analyst and the scope statement to the email to her sponsor. The meeting concluded and Joan looked down and realized that she had finished ALL of the fried zucchini and the entire chocolate shake.

Joan did not have too much time to contemplate the calories she had just accidentally consumed, she had to go visit some of her team members and redirect their work efforts. She needed them to stop what they were working on immediately and then redirect their attention to something which was a higher priority. She felt a bit guilty about this as this was the second time that day that she would ask them to change direction. However, her guilt quickly changed to annoyance when one of her team members looked at her and said, “Don’t you realize that every time you ask us to start something, then stop it, then restart it again, that you cost us time? Did you know that each time we start a task over again, it takes time for us to get back on track?”

Joan looked at him and said, “Around here the efficient employees like myself learn how to multitask, you better do the same.” She did not even comprehend the irony of her words.

“Stress is like spice – in the right proportion it enhances the flavor of a dish. Too little produces a bland, dull meal; too much may choke you.”
~Donald Tubesing

I have a friend who loves chili peppers of all kinds. The hotter the better. Nothing makes him happier than to eat a bowl of noodles and have beads of sweat pop out all along his forward. I usually can’t even take a bite of his food. (Another benefit to his love for spice, he doesn’t have to share his lunch with very many of us.)

If stress is like a spice, necessary in the right proportions to keep a dish flavorful, it is also true to say that not everyone can handle stress in the same amounts. Some people are veritable stress junkies, they thrive on it. They will tell you that they work so much better under pressure. Others will tell you that just the mention of a deadline two months from now is making them lose sleep.

A little bit of stress is good for us. Eustress is productive stress. Productive stress? Yes, productive stress, the type of stress that helps us improve our performance. Think about studying for an exam or training for a 5K race. This is good stress; we push ourselves towards a difficult yet obtainable goal.

Distress is not productive stress. Distress is destructive and demotivating. It leads to suffering.

The challenge we face as leaders is understanding how to use stress effectively. Stress can actually improve our performance and expand our capacity for thinking. It is often in times of stress that creative solutions emerge.

A first step is to make your peace with stress. Stress is a fact of life. How do you act when you are stressed? Do you fall into that common stress reaction of micromanaging? Does that serve you and your team or does it make your team feel even more stressed? Get to know yourself under stress and identify the behaviors that help you and get to know the behaviors that do not. Learn to recognize when those unproductive behaviors are kicking in. Find a way to redirect yourself to the useful behaviors. Encourage your team members to do the same thing.

Your distress could be my eustress and vice-versa. Just as with spice, we all have different tolerance levels.

Wishing you productive stress.

Isn’t it more fun to celebrate a job well done than to regret a job that is just DONE? As a leader you have a huge impact on your team and their experience. You do not just sit back and see what happens. YOU set the tone for their success. In recent weeks I have conducted a very informal survey about what it means to be set up for success. At first the discussion centered on leaders who stood in the way of success, next we turned to what it means to set your team up for success. Here for your consideration and in no particular order is how to set your team up for success.

1. Make sure people have the tools and the information they need – BEFORE they need it. You do not have to be a mind reader, but there are some things your team will need from you that are not rare or unusual. Some examples include: a charge code for project work, access to documents or information that describe the work to be completed, work space, other team members with specific areas of expertise, information about what policies and procedures to follow. Unless you are filming some new reality TV show, why would you push a team member to start working without the appropriate tools?This brings us to….
2. Make sure YOUR expectations are clearly stated and do not assume that people can read your mind. Let’s assume that you and your team are not running the ‘Psychic Friends Network” which means that telepathy is not a core competency for any of you. Tell your team what you want and what you expect. Help them to understand the criteria for success. What if you do not have a clear understanding of the expectations? Be honest about it. Don’t send your team off with unclear or incorrect instructions. Take the responsibility to go get clear information and then share that information with your team as quickly as possible.
3. Be a strong support resource. Your team should know that they can come to you for assistance or direction. They should be able to do this without you chastising them or making them feel belittled because they needed your assistance. YOUR job is to help run interference and clear the path for them. (Remember YOU are the opposite of a human roadblock.)
4. If something is missing or goes wrong – BEFORE you start finger pointing, go take a look in the mirror. NOT because you should look your best when finger pointing; because you want to be honest about YOUR role in the outcome. Did YOU provide everything your team needed to be successful? In other words did you really set your team up for success or could you have been more helpful?
5. Maintain your professionalism despite setbacks – people look to you to set the tone. This does not mean suppress all your emotions until you explode, but it does mean be aware of your emotions. If you need to take a minute before you discuss an issue, take a minute. It is better to pause then to throw your coffee cup against the wall or kick the trash can over or call names.
6. Be safe and approachable – no matter what! Nobody will approach you if you constantly yell at them. This does not mean that you do not counsel people who are not living up to expectations. Of course you do, just select the right time and place. Try to offer up corrective actions and behaviors in a way that leaves your team member with dignity. And finally….
7. When your team succeeds, let them know that you had every confidence in them and that their success is not a surprise, but that it is worthy of celebration!

“Lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at you.” – David Brinkley

In a perfect world, everyone would think that you are perfect all of the time. In the real world, well maybe that is not the case. Maybe, just maybe – there are one or two people who actually do not see you in all of your perfection.

But that is OK right? You are a strong mature professional and you know better than to think that everyone is going to be your fan. In fact you say, “Healthy criticism, bring it on!” Instead of waiting for the criticism to come, you actively seek it out. Why would you do that? Because healthy criticism helps you grow, it makes you stronger. In a way it is like the personal and professional development equivalent of strength training. When you welcome criticism it may remove any negative power that criticism wields over you and neutralizes it.

If you are really looking to grow and you are asking your colleagues for feedback, remember to approach colleagues who you think might not be your strongest advocates. At first they might be surprised and some might refuse to participate. But others may be willing to share their criticism with you. Actually your willingness to listen to their feedback could help to build a better relationship. At the very least you should earn (or increase) their respect. Not very many people ask for criticism.

You know that proactively seeking out feedback allows you understand how others perceive you. It gives you an opportunity to see yourself as others see you and to take charge of that information and put it to work for you. You don’t have to agree with everything you hear, you don’t have to make any changes that don’t fit who you are, but at least you know where you stand.

There is an expression, “lead, follow or get out of the way”. Unfortunately some leaders have a different version: “lead, confuse your followers and get in the way”. Instead of helping their team members along the road to success, these leaders become the biggest roadblocks to success. These are people who never quite comprehended the concept of setting people up for success. They may or may not be aware of what they are doing, either way they excel at setting people up for failure. Let’s take a look at some of the reasons (aside from just plain old incompetency) that cause leaders to be barriers to success as opposed to champions for success.

1. They are a prisoner of their own quirks – This is a person who really does not mean to sabotage you and the team. They just are not exercising self-awareness or self-control over some of their own behaviors. Consider the leader who waits until the last minute to review and signoff an important document and then kicks it back to you because page three of ten is missing a coma. The missing coma does not change the meaning of the sentence, but he can’t stand that there is an error and if he signs the document that error reflects poorly on him.How can this be mitigated? In the example given here you need to review and re-review your documentation to make sure it is perfect. You might also consider setting a deadline which allows for this behavior. Perhaps plan for this person to require multiple reviews and rejections of your document. If it typically takes this person three times to approve a document that should be part of your plan.Whatever quirk it is that your leader exhibits, get to know that quirk and come up with strategies to work with that quirk.
2. They are afraid to move forward – This could be a new leader or a leader who has not been rewarded for taking initiative. This person is so cautious that you wonder how she makes it to work each day. Just getting out of bed must be terrifying for her. The problem is that her inability to act is delaying your team.Get to know her and understand the basis for her hesitancy. Once you understand what holds her back, you can help her keep moving. You do this by addressing her concern and providing an answer or solution for it. For example, you need a change request signed and the change requires additional funding for your project. If you know she comes from a place of hating to ask for money; bring the change request and some suggestions for how the funding can be obtained. Perhaps there is a lower priority project which is NOT being worked on and has funds available. Perhaps YOU volunteer to go make the request for the money. Perhaps you include the requesting customer in the meeting to help make the case for the change.
3. They do not know what they want – Sometimes this person’s behavior is similar to the person who is afraid to move forward. You cannot get him to commit. The difference here is indecision. Granted, that indecision could be brought about by fear of making the wrong choice. He may need to see multiple options before making a commitment. He also may need to vacillate between a couple of options before landing on the option he prefers. It is frustrating, but this is how he works, it is how he thinks and how he makes decisions.Think ‘prototype’ when you bring something to him to review. Understand that you will need to go through a back and forth with him. This does not mean bring him one really good idea and two ill-conceived ideas just to give him choices. It does mean give him good approaches and plan for his review and prototyping process in your schedule and strategy.
4. They think, “It was difficult for me, it should be difficult for you too.” – Aren’t you lucky? This is the leader who is going to toughen you up. Her climb to the top was not easy and your climb should not be either. She will make unreasonable demands of you and the team. She will create crises just to see how you handle them. She and Murphy’s Law work in tandem. At the worst possible time she will throw something at you and the team just to teach you a lesson. If you do not pass the test, she will berate you. If you pass the test she will ignore you.Be prepared. Keep your eyes wide open. You probably cannot get her to stop testing you (although eventually once she believes you have proven yourself she might let up); but you can anticipate the types of challenges she throws your way and when. For example if things have been quiet for a while, she is probably getting ready to send an obstacle in your direction very soon. You can also build some ‘obstacle time’ into your schedule. But if she suspects that you have, of course she will cut your schedule.
5. They really are sabotaging you – Unfortunately there are people who really do not want you to succeed. It really stinks when you work for this person. Maybe he was not the one who promoted you. Maybe he wants to be the hero and wants you to fail so that he can swoop in and save the day. Maybe he feels threatened by you and wants to ensure you do not outperform him. Maybe he is just crazy. You do not always know why, but you sense that he is trying to sabotage you and you could be right.You cannot be too prepared. In this situation you need to think about what he may possibly do to sabotage your work. Keep your eyes and ears open. I am sorry but you simply cannot let your guard down. Keep a clear record of communications to and from him. Try to interact with him in front of other (and hopefully) neutral parties. Of course this is a situation that you do not want to remain in for the long run.

I know you see the key to navigating these human roadblocks. Understand that you cannot make them stop their behavior, but you can observe them, learn about them and their behavior and then adopt mitigating strategies.

After all, human roadblock me once, shame on you. Human roadblock me twice, shame on me.