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	<title>Keeping the Peace</title>
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	<description>Margaret Meloni helps you keep the peace with tips and stories on how to become from the work related conflict that prevents you from having good working relationships and impacts the quality of your personal life.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Mon, 14 May 2012 14:01:38 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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	<itunes:summary>Margaret Meloni helps you keep the peace with tips and stories on how to become from the work related conflict that prevents you from having good working relationships and impacts the quality of your personal life.</itunes:summary>
	<itunes:author>Margaret Meloni</itunes:author>
	<itunes:explicit>clean</itunes:explicit>
	<itunes:image href="http://blog.melonicoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/logo_600x600.jpg" />
	<itunes:subtitle>Margaret Meloni helps you keep the peace with tips and stories on how to become from the work related conflict that prevents you from having good working relationships and impacts the quality of your personal life.</itunes:subtitle>
	<itunes:keywords>conflict resolution, conflict, peace, workplace, emotional intelligence, EI, </itunes:keywords>
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		<title>Keeping the Peace</title>
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	<itunes:category text="Health">
		<itunes:category text="Self-Help" />
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		<item>
		<title>Authenticity, Self-Awareness and Courage</title>
		<link>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/podcast-inspirational-authenticity-self-awareness-courage</link>
		<comments>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/podcast-inspirational-authenticity-self-awareness-courage#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 May 2012 13:56:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Podcast-Inspirational]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.melonicoaching.com/?p=1973</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Quick, think of someone who you consider to be truly authentic. Now why is it that you call them authentic? I bet they have the courage to be themselves. How do they do that?]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Quick, think of someone who you consider to be truly authentic. Now why is it that you call them authentic? I bet they have the courage to be themselves.</p>
<p>How do they do that?</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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			<itunes:subtitle>Quick, think of someone who you consider to be truly authentic. Now why is it that you call them authentic? I bet they have the courage to be themselves. - How do they do that? </itunes:subtitle>
		<itunes:summary>Quick, think of someone who you consider to be truly authentic. Now why is it that you call them authentic? I bet they have the courage to be themselves.

How do they do that?
</itunes:summary>
		<itunes:author>Margaret Meloni</itunes:author>
		<itunes:explicit>clean</itunes:explicit>
		<itunes:duration>3:25</itunes:duration>
	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Don’t Fight City Hall</title>
		<link>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/professional-development-don&#039;t-fight-city-hall</link>
		<comments>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/professional-development-don&#039;t-fight-city-hall#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 14 May 2012 12:10:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Professional development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[by the book]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[policies and procedures]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rules and regulations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[what is bureaucracy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.melonicoaching.com/?p=1962</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“Sorry, we can’t do that, we do everything here by the book.” “But we have always done it this way.” Those are both phrases that can make your blood run cold. Or at least give you a raging headache. Ouch, you just slammed into the brick wall of bureaucracy. There are plenty of good reasons [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://blog.melonicoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/procedures.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-1963" style="margin-left: 7px; margin-right: 7px;" title="procedures" src="http://blog.melonicoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/procedures.jpg" alt="" width="218" height="239" /></a>“Sorry, we can’t do that, we do everything here by the book.”<br />
“But we have always done it this way.”</p>
<p>Those are both phrases that can make your blood run cold. Or at least give you a raging headache. Ouch, you just slammed into the brick wall of bureaucracy.</p>
<p>There are plenty of good reasons to have established procedures. Don’t you want procedures to ensure safety and security? Don’t you want a paper trail when money is involved? Of course you expect project managers to follow a clearly defined methodology. Do you ever suspect that some people use the rules as an excuse to avoid work? Of course they do!</p>
<p>Some people use rules and procedures to shelter themselves from work. They truly do not care how much difficulty they send your way. They claim to be efficient (because they are following the pre-established rules), but they are not effective. And making you jump through hoops to follow obscure organizational guidelines is fun, for them.</p>
<p>The truth is that these individuals really use bureaucracy to mask laziness, apathy and fear of change. How can you fight back?</p>
<p>Never attack the system and definitely do not put the person on the defensive. Research is your new best friend. Why? Because you are probably not going to be able to dismantle the process and you will not be granted permission to follow your own approach. Observe the behavior of the person so that you learn how they use the process as a roadblock. Learn the process. If it is documented carry it around with you. As soon as your favorite obstacle starts quoting the rules, sit with them and have them flip to the page and section they are referencing. You want to be able to use the process too, so that you are already prepared with the correct response. If they say, “Sorry but you have to submit that form in triplicate”; counter with “And here are my three copies, thank you for your assistance.”</p>
<p>If research is your new best friend, then documentation is definitely a member of your inner circle.<br />
Why? Someone who uses bureaucracy to avoid effort may be inconsistent in their interpretation of the rules. So keep track of how you are asked to follow the process. Also make sure you follow the process in place for documentation. Often the first roadblock with any bureaucrat is the documentation itself.</p>
<p>“I would love to help you, but you just do not have the appropriate documentation.” Your response, “Oh yes, I do and here it is, thank you for your assistance.”</p>
<p>If you suspect that this person is playing it fast and loose with the rules, get help. Collaborate with peers and even senior associates. It doesn’t hurt to get a second opinion.</p>
<p>Never let them get you flustered. It just isn’t worth it. Relax and work within the system.</p>
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<input id="requiredfields" type="hidden" name="requiredfields" value="Email1" />If you enjoyed this blog posting, then you may enjoy our bi-weekly ezine Turning Point for FREE tips and insights to discover A Path to Peace……!</p>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Understanding and Managing Conflict in Projects</title>
		<link>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/understanding-managing-Conflict-Projects</link>
		<comments>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/understanding-managing-Conflict-Projects#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 07 May 2012 16:55:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Job Performance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Professional development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conflict management]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[managing conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[resolve conflict]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[understanding conflict]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.melonicoaching.com/?p=1941</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I would love to share with you an interesting interview with Samad Aidane of Guerrilla Project Management.com. We shared some insights on why understanding and managing conflict is a critical skill for project managers and offers practical strategies for resolving conflict in projects. http://www.guerrillaprojectmanagement.com/understanding-managing-conflict-projects Enjoy and I would love to know your thoughts! If you [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://blog.melonicoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/interview.jpg"><img class="alignleft  wp-image-1958" style="margin-left: 7px; margin-right: 7px;" title="interview" src="http://blog.melonicoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/interview.jpg" alt="" width="210" height="129" /></a>I would love to share with you an interesting interview with Samad Aidane of Guerrilla Project Management.com. We shared some insights on why understanding and managing conflict is a critical skill for project managers and offers practical strategies for resolving conflict in projects.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.guerrillaprojectmanagement.com/understanding-managing-conflict-projects">http://www.guerrillaprojectmanagement.com/understanding-managing-conflict-projects</a></p>
<p>Enjoy and I would love to know your thoughts!</p>
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<input id="requiredfields" type="hidden" name="requiredfields" value="Email1" />If you enjoyed this blog posting, then you may enjoy our bi-weekly ezine Turning Point for FREE tips and insights to discover A Path to Peace……!</p>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Causing a Scene</title>
		<link>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/podcast-inspirational-causing-a-scene</link>
		<comments>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/podcast-inspirational-causing-a-scene#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 04 May 2012 15:04:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Podcast-Inspirational]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.melonicoaching.com/?p=1931</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Every day you have the opportunity to be the director of your own &#8216;Life of a Team Member&#8217; movie. Is this a drama, a comedy or a tragedy or an action adventure film? You write the script with your behaviors &#8211; you tell me!]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Every day you have the opportunity to be the director of your own &#8216;Life of a Team Member&#8217; movie. Is this a drama, a comedy or a tragedy or an action adventure film? You write the script with your behaviors &#8211; you tell me!</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
<enclosure url="http://blog.melonicoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/70_Causing_a_Scene.mp3" length="5362533" type="audio/mpeg" />
			<itunes:subtitle>Every day you have the opportunity to be the director of your own &#039;Life of a Team Member&#039; movie. Is this a drama, a comedy or a tragedy or an action adventure film? You write the script with your behaviors - you tell me! </itunes:subtitle>
		<itunes:summary>Every day you have the opportunity to be the director of your own &#039;Life of a Team Member&#039; movie. Is this a drama, a comedy or a tragedy or an action adventure film? You write the script with your behaviors - you tell me!
</itunes:summary>
		<itunes:author>Margaret Meloni</itunes:author>
		<itunes:explicit>clean</itunes:explicit>
		<itunes:duration>5:35</itunes:duration>
	</item>
		<item>
		<title>Principled Negotiations</title>
		<link>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/principled-negotiations</link>
		<comments>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/principled-negotiations#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Apr 2012 17:24:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[negotiating skills]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[negotiating tactics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[negotiating techniques]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.melonicoaching.com/?p=1927</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So much of your life is a negotiation. At home you negotiate your children&#8217;s bed times, what time dinner will be ready, whose family you visit for the holidays and many other items. At work you negotiate difficult deadlines, impossible budgets and over-allocated resources (including your own over-allocation). When you use a soft negotiation approach [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://blog.melonicoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/negotiate-shakeHands.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-1928" style="margin-left: 7px; margin-right: 7px;" title="negotiate-shakeHands" src="http://blog.melonicoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/negotiate-shakeHands.jpg" alt="" width="279" height="186" /></a>So much of your life is a negotiation. At home you negotiate your children&#8217;s bed times, what time dinner will be ready, whose family you visit for the holidays and many other items. At work you negotiate difficult deadlines, impossible budgets and over-allocated resources (including your own over-allocation).</p>
<p>When you use a soft negotiation approach you place more value on being nice and maintaining a friendship. There is nothing wrong with being nice, except that if you place being nice over choosing the best approach, you will be taken advantage of and you will resent it. When you use a hard negotiation approach you forget about the relationships and care more about winning the battle. The use of the word battle is intentional here, when you use the hard approach you assume you are working against adversaries.</p>
<p>Enter Principled Negotiations. Developed by the Harvard Negotiation Project, Principled Negotiations is both soft and hard. Soft on the people and hard on the problem. Instead of &#8216;giving in&#8217; to be nice and instead of assuming the other party is your enemy, the idea is to reach a solution based on the merits of that solution. To make a decision that is based on wisdom and not on willfulness.</p>
<p>This approach has tremendous value for us. When the negotiation is over, where do the people go who were involved? They remain your colleagues, your customers, your suppliers. You want a strong professional relationship with these people, not a strained resentful one.</p>
<p>The benefits of Principled Negotiation are well suited to the project world:</p>
<ul>
<li>Participants become partners, NOT adversaries. &#8211; Together you commit to finding a solution; you are not competing with one another.</li>
<li>Participants develop joint interests. &#8211; Together you commit to finding common ground and working toward specific goals.</li>
<li>Fair standards are developed. &#8211; Together you set boundaries that are reasonable and acceptable to all.</li>
<li>Multiple options are explored. &#8211; Together you consider more than one or two approaches.</li>
<li>A WISE decision is reached.</li>
</ul>
<p>When the negotiation ends, you ALL know that an ethical business transaction occurred. That you worked together with integrity to find a solution that fit the need at hand. That is why AFTER the negotiation ends you can continue to conduct a healthy professional relationship based on respect. What a relief!</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Be Yourself</title>
		<link>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/be-yourself</link>
		<comments>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/be-yourself#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Apr 2012 15:12:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Inspirational]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Professional development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[be yourself]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[there's only one you]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trying to be like someone else]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trying to be someone else]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.melonicoaching.com/?p=1921</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde Simple advice, isn’t it? Why would you want to be anyone other than yourself? Oh I know you have your bad days. You are not perfect. You see someone you admire and you think, “Why can’t I be more like person X?” Why can’t person [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>“Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde</p>
<p><a href="http://blog.melonicoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/compare-yourself1.jpg"><img class="alignleft  wp-image-1922" style="margin-left: 7px; margin-right: 7px;" title="compare-yourself" src="http://blog.melonicoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/compare-yourself1.jpg" alt="" width="240" height="180" /></a>Simple advice, isn’t it? Why would you want to be anyone other than yourself? Oh I know you have your bad days. You are not perfect. You see someone you admire and you think, “Why can’t I be more like person X?” Why can’t person X be more like you? That job is taken by the best, the brightest and the most qualified candidate available – YOU.</p>
<p>Does this mean you cannot look to people you admire for your own inspiration? Definitely not. The key is in how you use this inspiration. If you admire the way in which someone communicates, you may be inspired to make some changes to your own communication style. Do not copy them. Do not adopt their patterns of speech, their mannerisms and use their signature words. That will come across as awkward, inauthentic and possibly a bit creepy. You have probably seen a person who decides to act just like their leaders. They begin to walk like them and talk like them. It does not work because this person is copying and does not have a unique way of speaking and behaving. They become like big parrots. They recite what they hear but they do not know why.</p>
<p>Consider what it is about their communication style that you find admirable and find YOUR way to update your approach. If you like the way in which someone puts people at ease in their presence, find your own way to help people feel comfortable around you. It is about developing your own way of being.</p>
<p>You might also find yourself looking at people you find less than admirable for some guidance on how you do not want to act. This is fine too; try to separate the behavior from the person, so that you are not judging them. Simply note the behavior, why you do not want to exhibit this behavior and find ways to prevent yourself from exhibiting the behavior. For example you note that one of your co-workers uses sarcasm when she is annoyed. You note that it causes others to stay away from her. You know you have a tendency toward sarcasm and you do not want to your colleagues to avoid you. You decide to work on stemming your own sarcasm.</p>
<p>We all have our own work to do to be at our best. Why add the burden of trying to be someone else?</p>
<p>Here’s to you being YOU!</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Understanding The PDU Category Structure And Policies by Cornelius Fichtner, PMP</title>
		<link>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/understanding-pdu-categories-by-cornelius-Fichtner/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/understanding-pdu-categories-by-cornelius-Fichtner/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 16 Apr 2012 16:35:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[PDU- Professional Development Units]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Professional development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cornelius Fichtner]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PDU Category]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pdu podcast]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pdus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[professional development units]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.melonicoaching.com/?p=1915</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Hi everyone, when I have a question about Professional Development Units, I usually ask my colleague Cornelius Fichtner, PMP. He does such a great job explaining the guidelines. If you are a certified Project Management Professional (PMP)®, then you know that the acronym PDU stands for Professional Development Unit. Every PMP needs to earn 60 [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hi everyone, when I have a question about Professional Development Units, I usually ask my colleague Cornelius Fichtner, PMP. He does such a great job explaining the guidelines.</p>
<p><a href="http://blog.melonicoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/FAQsAboutPDUs300x129.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-1916" title="FAQsAboutPDUs300x129" src="http://blog.melonicoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/FAQsAboutPDUs300x129.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="129" /></a>If you are a certified Project Management Professional (PMP)®, then you know that the acronym <a title="pdu podcast" href="http://nanacast.com/vp/105118/237793/">PDU</a> stands for Professional Development Unit. Every PMP needs to earn 60 PDUs every 3 years in order to keep his or her certification. Why? The idea behind PDUs is simple: the Project Management Institute (PMI) wants every PMP to continuously learn. Just like doctors or pilots who have to take classes regularly and practice new skills in order to keep their license, PMI wants credential holders to learn new project management skills so that we can be the best project managers possible.<br />
This article is based on an interview with Rory McCorkle, Product Manager Credentials, from PMI, and you can listen to the full interview for free at The Project Management Podcast website: http://bit.ly/pmpodcast204.<br />
The rules around PDUs changed in March 2011, but many people are still confused about the new structure. Let&#8217;s look at the main changes.</p>
<p><strong>One hour equals one PDU</strong></p>
<p>When Rory and his team were benchmarking PMI against other organizations, they realized that it would be useful to standardize the amount of PDUs individuals get for the time they spend on activities. &#8220;We&#8217;re truly global and dealing with a global audience has challenges,&#8221; he said. &#8220;That was something we found an important learning: regardless of whether you are sitting in a classroom, giving a presentation or volunteering, we have rewarded you appropriately for the investment of your time and what you were getting out of that.&#8221;</p>
<p>As a result, nearly all activities are now credited on the basis of one hour of activity equaling one PDU.</p>
<p><strong>PDU divisions and categories</strong></p>
<p>The old system had 18 different PDU categories &#8211; not including the sub-categories. The new system divides <a href="http://nanacast.com/vp/105118/237793/">PMI PDUs</a> into two broad areas: education and giving back to the profession. This makes it much easier to understand, but there was another reason for the change too. &#8220;The other important thing division enabled us to do was to ensure that through their recertification cycle every practitioner had at least some hours in the education area,&#8221; Rory said. &#8220;That gave us the assurance that everyone would continue to invest in their lifelong learning.&#8221;</p>
<p>In the new structure both divisions have 3 categories.</p>
<p><strong>The Education division</strong></p>
<p><strong>Category A</strong>: Courses offered by a PMI Registered Education Provider (REP), Chapters or Communities. &#8220;Most of these activities are stored in the Continuing Certification Requirements System already,&#8221; said Rory, &#8220;so all you need to claim them is simply to enter that activity number and demonstrate that you were there if you&#8217;re audited.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Category B</strong>: Continuing Education. This covers any training that you undertake at a college, university, or with any other training provider that is not a REP. Training in your workplace counts as Category B too. Rory advises that you keep proof of attendance in case you are audited. &#8220;That could be a certificate of completion,&#8221; he said.</p>
<p><strong>Category C</strong>: Self-directed Learning. &#8220;This is really a great place for folks to be able to get learning that you don&#8217;t have to go to a classroom for,&#8221; Rory said. &#8220;It captures a lot of the things that I hope certainly that professionals are doing, if not on a daily basis, certainly monthly&#8221;. This includes being mentored, webinars, podcasts, reading and so on. You can only claim a maximum of 30 PDUs in this category.</p>
<p><strong>The Giving Back to the Profession division</strong></p>
<p>This division has a maximum of 45 PDUs. Any PDUs earned in the following 3 categories counts towards this cap.</p>
<p><strong>Category D</strong>: Creating New Project Management Knowledge. &#8220;This is a whole number of different things that all are looking to create, develop, expand and communicate new project management knowledge or perhaps augment existing knowledge that might be out there in the field,&#8221; Rory said. It ranges from authoring a textbook to giving a presentation at your Chapter dinner about a topical issue in project management, and can include writing articles. &#8220;At PMI we have a lot of publications that you can get knowledge pieces produced in,&#8221; Rory said.</p>
<p><strong>Category E</strong>: Volunteer Service. You don&#8217;t have to be a PMI Chapter officer to claim these PDUs. &#8220;This can be volunteer service for any project management organization,&#8221; explained Rory. &#8220;We know there are other project management organizations out there. They do have to be non-profit in order to count here, so volunteering for your company isn&#8217;t going to count because that could be your job.&#8221; Another opportunity to earn <a href="http://nanacast.com/vp/105118/237793/">PMP PDUs</a> in this category is by providing project management services to non-profit organizations.</p>
<p><strong>Category F</strong>: Working as a Professional in Project Management. This is the only one of the 6 categories where the &#8220;1 hour of service equals 1 PDU&#8221; rule doesn&#8217;t apply. &#8220;This is essentially an amount we give for working as a professional project manager,&#8221; Rory said. &#8220;As on your original application for your certification, we recognize experience as part of the eligibility requirements.&#8221; As long as you work a minimum of 6 months within the 12 month period you can claim the PDUs relevant to your credential.</p>
<p><strong>Learning more</strong></p>
<p>&#8220;I&#8217;d encourage folks to look at the handbook for their certification,&#8221; said Rory. There is no longer a separate handbook just for continuing certification requirements, as the rules are embedded in the handbook for your credential. While the new guidelines are much clearer than the old system, Rory recommends asking for help if you are unsure.</p>
<p>&#8220;I would encourage folks if they have a question about specific activity to reach out to Customer Care,&#8221; he said. &#8220;We&#8217;ll make sure we get an answer for you because the categories can encompass a lot and sometimes can be a little confusing as to what counts and what might not.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Earn PDUs regularly</strong></p>
<p>Why not get started on your <a href="http://nanacast.com/vp/105118/237793/">PDUs</a> now via a subscription and get your PDUs regularly? The PDU Podcast (<a href="http://nanacast.com/vp/105118/237793/">www.pducast.com</a>) is a convenient way for you to earn unlimited PDUs in Category A, and you don&#8217;t have to go to a classroom. Get project management webinars delivered to your portable player like an iPod, Android phone or Blackberry and earn at least 1 PDU every month, which is a really convenient way for PMPs to earn PDUs for your renewal.</p>
<p><strong>Want to use this article in your e-zine or web site? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it</strong>:</p>
<p>About the author: Cornelius Fichtner, PMP is a noted PMP expert. He has helped over 16,000 students prepare for the PMP exam with The Project Management PrepCast and he is the host of <a href="http://nanacast.com/vp/105118/237793/"> The PDU Podcast</a>.</p>
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		<title>Comparisons</title>
		<link>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/personal-development-comparisons</link>
		<comments>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/personal-development-comparisons#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Apr 2012 15:29:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Inspirational]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Professional development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[be yourself]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[compare yourself]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[don't compare yourself]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[never compare yourself]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.melonicoaching.com/?p=1908</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“Never compare your insides with someone else’s outside.” – Hugh Macleod It is not often that the quotes I share with you come from someone who is still breathing. Today’s quote does and this makes me a bit nervous. See I am not certain if I am using the quote the way that Hugh Macleod [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: center;">“<em>Never compare your insides with someone else’s outside</em>.” – Hugh Macleod</p>
<p><a href="http://blog.melonicoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/compare-yourself.jpg"><img class="alignleft  wp-image-1909" style="margin-left: 7px; margin-right: 7px;" title="compare-yourself" src="http://blog.melonicoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/compare-yourself.jpg" alt="" width="240" height="180" /></a>It is not often that the quotes I share with you come from someone who is still breathing. Today’s quote does and this makes me a bit nervous. See I am not certain if I am using the quote the way that Hugh Macleod intends it to be used. (See <a href="http://gapingvoid.com/about/">http://gapingvoid.com/about/</a> to learn about Hugh). However, as he is all about being creative and has also written a book called Ignore Everybody I am going to proceed.</p>
<p>Have you ever heard the expression, ‘comparisons are odious’? This was one of my mother’s famous statements to us when we would say, “Well so and so has this.” Or “Person X does that.”</p>
<p>Comparisons, when used to limit yourself or disparage yourself (or others) are pointless. Actually pointless is not a strong enough word. Comparisons when used incorrectly can be dangerous.</p>
<p>When you compare yourself to someone else, it is likely that you are comparing who you are with who you think they are; hence your insides versus their outside. This holds true in both seemingly positive and seemingly negative comparisons. A seemingly positive comparison is when you look at someone and think, “Wow they have it all, looks, brains and money. I wish I could be more like them.” You might think this is a positive comparison because you are admiring them. With this admiration you are putting yourself down. By wanting to be like them, you are telling yourself that you are not good enough. You only see what is going on outside of them. You do not know about their inner being. This person may have an excellent outward appearance, but what is going on in the inside? Admiring someone for their positive qualities as a source of inspiration is good, using the comparison to sell yourself short is not.</p>
<p>Conversely you might compare yourself to someone to make yourself feel better. “Well at least I am not like person X”, you tell yourself. This is a negative comparison. You are looking at someone and judging them. You are deciding that you are better than they are. How do you know? Can you look into their heart? Into their soul and see what they are made of? I doubt it.</p>
<p>In today’s world of reality TV it seems easy to fall into the comparisons trap. There are shows about people living all kinds of lives. Stay away from this type of dangerous comparison. I do not need to compare you to anyone else to tell you that you are better than that!</p>
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		<title>Just Let Time Take Care of It</title>
		<link>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/personal-development-time-take-care-of-it</link>
		<comments>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/personal-development-time-take-care-of-it#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 02 Apr 2012 12:00:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Job Performance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leadership]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Professional development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[in due time]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[time heals all wounds]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[time is a tool]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[time management]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.melonicoaching.com/?p=1902</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself” – Andy Warhol Have you ever been advised that all you need is some time? Definitely this advice is handed out when your heart is broken or you are grieving the loss of someone you love. The idea is that when [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>“<em>They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself</em>” – Andy Warhol</p>
<p><a href="http://blog.melonicoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/time-clock.jpg"><img class="alignleft  wp-image-1903" style="margin-left: 7px; margin-right: 7px;" title="time-clock" src="http://blog.melonicoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/time-clock.jpg" alt="" width="240" height="158" /></a>Have you ever been advised that all you need is some time? Definitely this advice is handed out when your heart is broken or you are grieving the loss of someone you love. The idea is that when there is enough time between you and your loss, you will heal.</p>
<p>Is it really time that does the healing or is it how you change as time passes that does the healing?</p>
<p>As a leader you know that there are situations when it makes sense to avoid conflict. An appropriate time to avoid conflict is when you can sense that everyone needs time to cool down. If you are observing a situation where the discussion is becoming unreasonably heated and participants are becoming too emotional and are at risk of damaging their professional relationships with one another, step in and prescribe a cool down period.</p>
<p>What happens during the cool down period? Does the issue magically resolve itself? Do unreasonable people become reasonable? The issue may be resolved during the cool down period and unreasonable people may become reasonable. Time helped to make these changes possible, but time alone did not make the changes. The issue was resolved because the parties involved were able to calm down and think clearly. The unreasonable person became reasonable because she used the time to think about her actions and to think about how she really wants to behave. Perhaps you used the cool down period to speak with each party individually to help them express their concerns and to help them see beyond the emotional aspect of the conflict.</p>
<p>When you want to make changes, time is your tool, but you must pick up that tool and use it.</p>
<p>Take time to make the changes you desire the most.</p>
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		<title>Conflicting Priorities? Mitigate Yourself</title>
		<link>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/Podcast-Inspirational/conflicting-priorities-mitigate-yourself-podcast</link>
		<comments>http://blog.melonicoaching.com/Podcast-Inspirational/conflicting-priorities-mitigate-yourself-podcast#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Mar 2012 22:13:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Podcast-Inspirational]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.melonicoaching.com/?p=1880</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When you are faced with conflicting priorities does it bring out your beast instead of your best? Take note and mitigate yourself so that your conflict does not rule your behavior and damage your professional.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>When you are faced with conflicting priorities does it bring out your beast instead of your best? Take note and mitigate yourself so that your conflict does not rule your behavior and damage your professional.</p>
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<enclosure url="http://blog.melonicoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/69_Conflicting_Priorities_Mitigate_Yourself.mp3" length="3612147" type="audio/mpeg" />
			<itunes:subtitle>When you are faced with conflicting priorities does it bring out your beast instead of your best? Take note and mitigate yourself so that your conflict does not rule your behavior and damage your professional.</itunes:subtitle>
		<itunes:summary>When you are faced with conflicting priorities does it bring out your beast instead of your best? Take note and mitigate yourself so that your conflict does not rule your behavior and damage your professional.</itunes:summary>
		<itunes:author>Margaret Meloni</itunes:author>
		<itunes:explicit>clean</itunes:explicit>
		<itunes:duration>3:46</itunes:duration>
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